Ruxman

Introvert with a deep appetite for girls and the misadventure and adventure of life.

Stripper Girlfriend

I come from a white middle class family,where a holiday based around museums was always opted over a holiday by the beach. From an early age I was taught the importance of manners and curtesy; how to hold my knife and fork properly, which fork to use for what course, and the importance of competent diction. I have used the word swimmingly in a sentence before and I will use it again. Out of my immediate social circle I’m the only one who doesn’t have a tattoo. When I’m with them in public and I notice we’re on our phones, I put mine away so bystanders won’t notice that young people have entirely given up on face-to-face interaction. I have an eclectic taste in music; Kind of Blue by MIles Davis is one of my favorite albums, has been since I was seventeen. I’m also partial to the loosely composed Impressionist work of Debussy such as Pagodes – it’s ethereal and that’s a good thing to me. Once I went to see a German opera and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I apply sunscreen on most spring and summer days so I can have good, clear skin when I’m thirty-five. I wake up at dawn to write everyday before work where I earn money that I save or spend wisely. I have an earnest desire for knowledge outside of a formal class setting that extends into art, culture and history. World War II has specifically interested me for years down to the details of armored vehicle production – while Germany’s Panzer and Tiger divisions were well trained and cutting edge, it was the mass production of Russia’s simple yet effective T-34 that led to Germanys defeat at Kursk and ultimately their consecutive losses after 1943 and all the way to the bloody end.

However this is contradicted by a need that lurks on my shoulders like a bad memory. All this, all this weekend newspaper knowledge and its use bewilders me, wasted like water poured onto concrete, because in a dark, tuna can stray cat alley of my head all I want to do is bust a nut inside a stripper.

http://ruxman.com/2013/09/03/stripper-girlfriend/ 

Here’s The Deal Farrah Abraham

I want to watch Farrah Abraham’s Backdoor Teen Mom, but I quit porn. I want to watch all of MTV’s Teen Mom so I get accustomed to seeing Farrah with her clothes on so when I watch the porn her nudity will be a potent revelation. She got paid high six figures to sell her porno to vivid entertainment, she justifies it as a celebration of her feminine side and youthful body (isn’t that what Instagram is for?). Anyway, it won’t be like a normal porno where you see some girl you don’t know spread her cheeks for the camera. I would have really gotten a feel for who Farrah is, exhaust my mental energy trying to imagine her naked bent over on the couch when I watch her buy baby food with her stepdads cash.

For what it’s worth she is trying to escape this video, she claims it isn’t porn. She wants to get a spot on Days of Our Lives and Dancing With the Stars. She also plans to write an erotic novel and give 50 Shades a run for its money. Farrah states that because she’s a sexual person, writing an erotic novel would be innate. As someone who writes filth nearly every morning, I can say having a dirty mind does not equal being able to pen it fluidly. Perhaps she can prove me wrong.

Reading about movie stars from the 1950′s and 60′s, I’m aware you’d catch a bus to L.A. and work hard to get into show business. This whole practice of using porn as a shortcut or leg-up gives me pause.

Anyway, I could immerse myself into everything she’s done, clock up a couple dozen hours of watching her nag and perambulate around Walmart parking lots, then download the porno. It would be like going into a different dimension or something, different production with slutyy hair and makeup. It’s a step from one world where she’s a somewhat innocent mother and most importantly, clothed, to the next where she’s pinching away her G string and getting rear-ended by James Deen. I would look on with despair, grief and acute voyeurism.

However, I cannot watch Backdoor Teen Mom or even Teen Mom. I quit porn a few months ago and I can’t go back to that, not even for this. There’s a reason Vivid paid in full for this; men secretly just want to see girls who have a status or position of wealth become decrepit and downtrodden. Kim Kardashian anyone? So I can’t fucking watch it… but damn it would be a good scene to bust a nut to though.

http://ruxman.com/2013/09/01/heres-the-deal-farrah-abraham/ 

Okcupid, Bisexuals, Sapiosexuals and Pansexuals

What I’ve noticed on Okcupid is the abundance of girls on there who define themselves as bisexual. This is just stupid. It seems eight in ten girls call themselves bisexual and it’s rare to find a chick who classifies as straight. Statistically I don’t think that more than half the dating scene is bi (far less I’d say) which means a fuckload of these girls are bullshitting. So what do they have to gain by defining themselves as bi? I’ve thought about this and I believe they fear they’re….

read more http://ruxman.com/2013/08/27/okcupid-bisexuals-sapiosexuals-and-pansexuals/ 

My Car
My car is shit. It’s a creme-white 1985 Toyota Corolla and girls say it has character. What I really think they’re saying is: Im having fun with you, I’m young and your old car befits my financial position in life right now, but I will not be settling down with a guy who drives a car like this. She still gives me a blow job, but her future husbands car will be better. It will be streamlined with runnels caressing the doors like masculine cheek bones, and a grill that looks like a tiger brandishing its teeth. The leather will creek when she sits down and it will sound like she farted. […]
Read More… http://ruxman.com/2013/08/24/my-car/ 

My Car

My car is shit. It’s a creme-white 1985 Toyota Corolla and girls say it has character. What I really think they’re saying is: Im having fun with you, I’m young and your old car befits my financial position in life right now, but I will not be settling down with a guy who drives a car like this. She still gives me a blow job, but her future husbands car will be better. It will be streamlined with runnels caressing the doors like masculine cheek bones, and a grill that looks like a tiger brandishing its teeth. The leather will creek when she sits down and it will sound like she farted. […]

Read More… http://ruxman.com/2013/08/24/my-car/ 

The Facebook Event

If you make a facebook event for a bar or club and feel the need to remind the guys to wear collared shirts and leather shoes, then this should give you pause. Either your venue selection is too upmarket for your social circle, or your social circle doesn’t fit in with the upmarket life you desire for yourself. 

Chloe Drinking Coffee 
She’s beautiful, she drinks coffee at work. Chloe is older, mid thirties, but has retained her rosy cheek bones and warm smile from her youth. Her body is still fine and she brings it out with a fashion sense I can only admire. What is a woman like this doing working in the welfare office? She likes her coffee, I often see her return from her break strutting back to her desk sipping from a paper cup. She repeats this in the afternoon. I know what coffee does to me, it makes me want to piss and shit while feeling jazzed. We have the same digestive system, there’s no way she’s an exception to feeling the same way. I imagine the latte pouring into her and making her feel a little gluggy, but still jazzed. The post-lunch coffee has gotta make her take a mean dump in the office toilet. I bet she uses the upstairs one, I’ve seen her go up there a few times. She doesn’t want another woman walking in and smelling her soft coffee induced dump. After that she can relax. She returns to her desk with elegance, looking beautiful from doing something ugly. 

Chloe Drinking Coffee 

She’s beautiful, she drinks coffee at work. Chloe is older, mid thirties, but has retained her rosy cheek bones and warm smile from her youth. Her body is still fine and she brings it out with a fashion sense I can only admire. What is a woman like this doing working in the welfare office? She likes her coffee, I often see her return from her break strutting back to her desk sipping from a paper cup. She repeats this in the afternoon. I know what coffee does to me, it makes me want to piss and shit while feeling jazzed. We have the same digestive system, there’s no way she’s an exception to feeling the same way. I imagine the latte pouring into her and making her feel a little gluggy, but still jazzed. The post-lunch coffee has gotta make her take a mean dump in the office toilet. I bet she uses the upstairs one, I’ve seen her go up there a few times. She doesn’t want another woman walking in and smelling her soft coffee induced dump. After that she can relax. She returns to her desk with elegance, looking beautiful from doing something ugly. 

Girls Who Like Nerds

“I like nerds” she said. I heard that before, or read it several other times in ‘about me’ sections scattered across the web. They find nerds endearing - girls who don’t know what nerds are. They think nerds resemble the guitarist of Bloc Party or any dude with funny shoes and thick-rimmed glasses. That’s not it… They haven’t seen the clump of dog-eared pages on a world of warcraft strategy guide. Haven’t gotten close enough to see the dead skin flakes adorning hunched shoulders. Never read a transcript from a COD multi-player capture-the-flag messaging portal. The sneakers and jeans. Lastly, nerds don’t actually wear thick-rimmed glasses, they wear the ones that Tom Cruise wears in mission impossible 1, only Cruise makes it work, especially when the bead of sweat hits the lens.